


Until We Bleed

by PointsofAuthority34



Category: K (Anime), Project K - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Will add more tags as story continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-23 12:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PointsofAuthority34/pseuds/PointsofAuthority34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of the two kings, his life is finally moving forward. He has friends, a job, and he finally has his best friend back. His best friend who is also his lover. Again his life is great. That is until he bumps into a strain who fucks it up all up. He is now scared and confused. How the hell is he supposed to believe there is a life in him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Five months have passed since the two kings have fallen. Over that time, several changes had been made to Yata's life.

Though a majority of the Homra group had left a month after Mikoto's death, the core of the group still stayed together. Over the first few months of their king's death, they stayed close and each made sure the other was okay. If he stopped at the bar at any given day he would be sure to find at least three of his friends there.

Their lives were starting to change and move forward. And when Izumo found out that Mikoto had put some money aside throughout all the years of him being a king, plans that seemed impossible were now in reach. Almost eight years of saving money and all of it being left in the care of Izumo, money would never be a problem for them again.

Along with the large amount of money there was Mikoto's will. Izumo didn't read it, because he said he was there when the King made it. With clear instructions, the Homra base would always be a home to its members and a safe place. The rooms upstairs were always free in case one of them needed to crash or to simply be near them. Also, Izumo would be the sole guardian of Anna and the king had already placed a large amount of money for her education.

Already the child was reading books and studying various subjects. When asked why, she would simply say that she was going to get a scholarship so she could use that money that Mikoto left her for another thing. She would never clarify what she planned to do with the money, but with how she was studying she was determined to get a scholarship.

And Anna wasn't the only one who the king left money to.

The king had left each member of the core group of Homra a small fortune that they could use in case of an emergency or something useful. Only catch was Izumo was the dealer of the money and had full control if the money should be given out. Or if the emergency was a real emergency. Izumo was determined to give the money only when he was sure it would enrich their lives.

And he told Chitose several times already that using the money for smokes was not enrichment and buying condoms when he ran out was not an emergency. He, himself hadn't touch his money and he doubted he would soon. His life was good at the moment. He had his friends, he was making cash on the side, and he finally had his best friend back.

Who was also now his lover.

After several months of hurt and conflicted feelings, one sit down, and one destroyed fast food chain restaurant, they had finally talked about what happened and how it came to them not being friends. Both mistook the other's actions, and were blinded with their own hurt that when they finally talked, all became clear.

Muttered apologies were made and though Yata would swear that Saruhiko grabbed him and wouldn't let go, they embraced each other and finally felt things were right again.

A couple months later, Yata to this day didn't know how, but he ended up in Saruhiko's bed. After that day, the months of separation was made up by nights filled with sex. Or lovemaking as the damn monkey called it.

But overall, it was really a win win situation.

Thinking about Saruhiko brought a smile on his face and he decided to see if the damn monkey was home. Grabbing his skateboard he yelled out "I'm heading out. I'll see you guys later!"

"Going over to the blue's house?" Eric teased in good nature. Everyone knew of their relationship and they didn't care. As long as Yata was happy and not breaking everything in sight, they were happy.

Yata pulled the other's hood down to his chin and pushed him onto to the couch. Getting a running start he ollied out the door skated towards Saruhiko's house.

"Go get some Yata!" Chitose yelled out after him.

Looking back he flipped the other off and yelled back with a flushed face. "Shut the hell up. Do you really think all we do is fuck when we're together? Not everyone is a horny perverted bastard like you!"

~K~

"Fuck Saruhiko." He breathed out. Laying on his stomach he buried his head in the pillow, but the other quickly followed. Kissing his neck and trying to get the other to face him "Just one more time Misaki." .He pouted

"That will make it the fourth time." The redhead groaned. Though he was complaining he knew he would be spreading his legs in a moment. The stupid monkey was making him into a pervert. He tried to avoid the kisses by burying himself further into the pillow.

Fushimi laughed and to relax the other he let his hands roam on his lover's back. Fushimi massaged and rubbed till he was getting moans of pleasure from him. Lowering one hand on Misaki's ass he said with a grin on his face. "This is why I love doing it multiple times. By the fourth time, we really don't need-" He slowly and teasingly pushed three fingers into his lover's backside and listened to the delicious moans that came. "any preparation."

Still with the grin on his face he stroked and curled his fingers into Misaki and ignored all the insults and demands to hurry the fuck up. He glanced down at his erect member and with one last curl of his fingers that had Misaki moaning his name, he took out his fingers.

Turning the other over so he was able to see his face, he pushed himself into his Misaki. Not stopping till he was fully in, he listened to the gasps and moans of pleasure coming from his lover. He gave a moment for the other to get comfortable but it was only for a moment. The next second he was fully out and slamming himself back into Misaki. With a fast and heavy pace he made his Misaki shout his name in pure ecstasy.

Though it was their fourth time having sex that day, the redhead still gasped and clenched the bed sheets. His face so easy to read, he watched all the beautiful expressions come across his face. Misaki was just so beautiful and pure in these moments. And he was the only one who would see this side of Misaki. No one else. Ever.

"Misaki, what you do to me." He growled before biting down harshly at the other's neck. He sucked harshly at the spot so a hickey would no doubt be there later. To show everyone that this beautiful person was his. And only his.

The body below him was on the edge of coming undone, with his mouth open and whimpers and groans begging for more and for him to go harder. Just looking had him too close to coming. Grabbing the others hips he pounded into the beautiful body harder and faster. He watched as Misaki arched his back and quickly started to thrust back to meet his thrusts.

He clawed at the hips he was holding on so tightly and with a shout from his lover, Misaki came. The sight had him too coming a second later. The redhead gasped and threw his head back when he felt Fushimi come into him.

They had never done that before. Fushimi would always pull out before.

Both still trying to catch their breath, Misaki looked up at Fushimi with confusion expressed on his face. The other merely smiled at him and grabbed a towel to clean them up. When the redhead was still looking at him with confusion, he sighed and sat next to him. He looked down at his beautiful Misaki and truthfully declared "Misaki, I love you."

The redhead's corners of his mouth lifted but he was trying to remain expressionless. This later failed when the redhead's face began to redden. But he remained silent.

He wasn't upset at this reaction. He knew that his Misaki wouldn't tell him that for years. But he would wait for however long necessary for Misaki to tell him he loved him too. Besides his lover's face whenever he told him his love for him was worth the wait.

After they both came from the high of sex or lovemaking as Fushimi declared it, they simply laid in bed enjoying each other's presence. Fushimi held Misaki flushed to his chest and would massage and rub out all the knots in the other's back.

There were quite a few this time and he wondered if it was because of them having sex on the counter. He did treat Misaki pretty roughly, but it was only because he had whipped cream on the corner of his lip. He wasn't expecting the skateboarder to be waiting in his apartment, so when he walked in to see his Misaki eating whipped cream with some still on his lips, the other was only asking for it.

Though their entire day consisted of having sex on the way to his bed so they could have sex properly there, he secretly treasured these after sex moments. He didn't love Misaki only when he was on his back and crying out his name. He wasn't a sex driven bastard, though he was sure Misaki would argue otherwise.

He loved these moments where he was holding Misaki and taking care of him. And when he did rub out a knot or rubbed a sore part, the redhead would give a sigh of content that would take his breath away.

And even though he loved these moments, his mind would always ruin it for him. Because even though he loved Misaki, he could only show it to him in little things. He wished he could show Misaki how much he loved him by having a child with him. To take care of him through all nine months and when the child was born, they would forever be partners. To have a child that was from him and Misaki. It would be a dream come true. But that dream was impossible.

"Sometimes I get sad…." He stopped talking and tried to think how to approach this subject. His pause was however taken the wrong way by the redhead. He pushed himself out of the hold he was in and was getting up while cursing. "Well fuck you then. I'm sorry I'm so bad in bed that I make you sad afterwards."

He quickly grabbed the other and rubbed his neck while quickly continuing.

"Listen! Don't jump to conclusions when I haven't finished!" He waited a moment for the other to calm down. "I get sad when I remember that no matter times I make love to you, there will never be a child afterwards. Because I think Misaki will make a beautiful parent and I want him to become one with me."

He felt the other's body become stiff in his arms, and he embraced him tighter. He didn't want to scare Misaki away with his thoughts, but he honestly did want them to have a child. As crazy as the thought was.

He felt the redhead's heartbeat quicken and he waited on edge for what the other was going to say. "We..We can always adopt a brat." He replied weakly.

Though the answer was shakily said, Fushimi felt like he was finally able to breathe again. Misaki did want to be a parent with him. He released a shaky breath of relief, but he couldn't enjoy this moment before his thoughts again ruined it.

His silence must have bothered Misaki because he asked in a nervous tone. "What made you think of brats, you stupid monkey?" He waited for a reply but instead felt Fushimi press his face into his shoulder. He waited a few moments and before he could ask again, the other cut him off by declaring in an urged tone.

"I desperately want a child because having a child with someone is the only way to tell them that you truly love them and love everything about them that you want to bring a child into this world so you can spend the rest of their lives with them. I want to take care of you and our child. I know we can adopt but I am selfish and want a child that comes from you and me. I want a child that has the best of us!"

Stunned into silence, the redhead didn't reply. He instead just turned around so he stared at his lover with wide surprised eyes. With shaking hands he cupped his lover's face and brought it close to his.

He laid a light kiss on the other man's lips and with his chest tightening he whispered. "I love you Fushimi."

~K~

By the time he left the apartment, it was late at night. Though the damn monkey begged him to stay for the night, he knew he had to leave. Besides he loved skateboarding at night. It cleared his head.

Which he desperately needed.

What the hell was the monkey thinking saying those things to him? You didn't need a kid to show that you loved someone.

But if he and Fushimi were able to have kids, he knew they would be the coolest fucking kids ever. They would be tough as nails and beat up all the kids who dared try to mess them up. But they would be smart too. And they would have the coolest fucking parents ever.

Lost in thought, he lazily made his way to his apartment. He didn't go his usual route due to his daydreaming and instead went through the back alleys. He was a block from his home when a child's scream followed by several crashes caused him to stop. He listened and crept into the shadows.

"This is the strain the boss wanted right?"

"Yeah this is her. Hey bring out the rope will you."

He crept closer and saw that in a deadend alley were three men all around a small child. Already his stomach was twisting with disgust as he saw blood drip down the child's jaw. The man with the rope leaned down and grabbed the girl roughly by the arm.

The girl screamed again and one of the men lifted his fist. "Shut the hell up!" He snarled while he brought his fist down.

His fist never met her face and instead was caught by the wrist. Startled by the hand he tried to snatch his hand back but the hand holding it, gripped it so tight that he felt his bones grinding against each other.

"Why don't you bitches fight with someone that will actually fight back." Yata stepped out of the shadows with a malicious grin. Not waiting for a response he tightened his grip and smiled when the sound of bone breaking was heard.

The man screamed and the two men quickly jumped the redhead. Their forms were off and their strength was weak. It only took three punches, two kicks, and two slams into their heads with his skateboard for them to be out cold.

He looked down at the three unconscious men and smiled. Though he could no longer use the red flame, that didn't make him weak. Years of being in Homra made him into a worthy opponent and right now those assholes realized it.

Throwing the guys into the middle of the road, he turned around and walked back to the still shaking figure. She was small and young, and for a second he saw Anna in her place. She was wearing torn shorts with a worn out tee. Her face was dirt streaked and she looked like she hadn't had a decent meal for a few days.

He helped her stand and asked if she could walk. With a small nod she walked with him on shaking legs out of the alley. She glanced at the men that minutes before were going to capture her and turned to her savior with a smile. "Thank you for saving me." She expressed with genuine gratitude. She looked up to him with wide excited eyes.

"It was no problem, ju- just be more careful. I know strains are always trying to be captured. S-So just be careful." Face heated and eyes cast downward he avoided any eye contact with her. "Do you have anywhere you can go?"

There was no response from the child. Instead the girl looked at him with the same smile and tried to grab his attention by leaning into his eyesight. When he finally looked at her she waved her hands at him in a gesture to come closer. Not knowing what else to do, he leaned closer to her and was surprised when the little girl stood on her tiptoes and brought her hands to his face.

Yata felt the wind get knocked out of him when her hands cupped his face. Before he could stop himself, memories of him and Fushimi flashed between his eyes. He saw his eyes, smile and hands before he heard the words 'I love you Misaki' echo through his head.

He felt hands on his stomach and heard from a distance. "This is my way of saying thank you." Before he could push the hands away, he felt a sharp pain. The last thing he saw before clenching his eyes from the pain was those crystal blue eyes.

~K~

A door being slammed open brought him back to consciousness. He heard several footsteps walk in, and he slowly tried to open his eyes. He had no idea where he was, and could only feel that he was laying on something and his stomach was killing him. He heard a light pair of footsteps coming towards him but abruptly stop. This halt brought silence into the room.

"What's wrong Anna?" Instead of answering the light footsteps continued to walk closer to him, which was closely followed by heavier footsteps. He felt someone near him and he desperately tried to make any kind of indication that he was awake.

"Yata-san, when did you get here?" Someone was asking him.

"What?" Someone groggily replied. It took him a moment to realize he said that. Now more footsteps were heading in his direction. He again tried to open his eyes but he couldn't defeat the challenge. He felt a hand on his forehead and heard someone talking. "You don't feel warm; did you hit your head?"

Now another pair of hands took off his beanie and began to touch his head. He wanted to swat the hand away and curse at the owner of the hands but instead all the came out of his mouth was, "Huh?"

Always a man of words, he fell back into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

He had hoped when he woke up, the pain in his stomach would be gone. But from the extreme pain covering his entire middle torso he could tell that he woke up to early to miss it. His eyes were clenched and he couldn't stop the groan of pain. It felt like his stomach was being rearranged and every time he moved a flash of pain would start from his navel to his toes.

As he slowly came back to consciousness he noticed several things.

First off, he was covered in sweat but was freezing. His stomach continued to feel like someone was stabbing him with a hot knife and was fucking twisting it for their own pleasure. He also realized that he was now on a bed. From the soft material his face was lying on he could make a pretty good guess that he was in one of the upstairs bedrooms.

He would never tell anyone but he really hated being upstairs.

Before he could focus too much on his hate, more pain erupted in his stomach. His breathing began to come out in pants and he swore under his breath. He gently placed his hand on his stomach and began to search for a wound. But with no injury and no blood on his hand, his mind swirled in confusion as he tried to link his pain.

What the hell did he do last night? He remembered spending the day with the damn monkey. Then he left because he needed to go home. No there was another reason why he had to leave. Something was bothering him when he left Saruhiko's apartment. But what the fuck was it?

Before he could wrack his mind too hard to supply the lost memories, the room door was slammed open. Though the action had force behind it, the one behind it looked calm and had a small smile on his face. These were the two traits that Yata had learned to fear, especially when together.

He watched in fear as Izumo closed the door behind him. The older male stared at him, the smile never leaving his face. Flicking out a cigarette he lit it and inhaled the toxic smoke, his eyes never straying away from the redhead.

Blowing out the smoke he asked, "Where were you before I found you passed out on the couch?" Yata stood silent and found that he couldn't answer. From leaving to his house till waking up at the bar was all one black blur. His silence seemed to anger the bartender because the other continued now with venom in his tone. "I don't go back on my word Yata. I'm a giving man but you only have one chance. The moment you screw up, you're out of here."

Yata knew by now it was best to keep quiet when Izumo talked about this topic. The silence that suffocated the room was thankfully cut off by a knock on the door.

"Come in Anna."

The pain in his stomach took a backseat when he saw the child walk through the door. She didn't glance at the bartender and instead pushed herself onto the bed so she was sitting next to the skateboarder. He caught her glancing at his arms before she looked away.

Shame ran through him and he looked at the blonde and pleaded. "Kusanagi-san I swear-" Before he could continue he was cut off. "Tell me where you were before I get really angry."

"I was at the monkey's house and then I was going home…and" He stopped and tried to remember what the hell happened afterwards. Pressing his palm against his forehead he tried to remember anything that happened.

His nerves were starting to be shaken as he felt the heavy stare and glare from Izumo and Anna. He glanced quickly at the child and saw her studying him through her red marble pinched between her fingers. Both men waited for her answer and the air tensed even further with every minute.

Though the child was silent through the procedure, Yata noticed that the marble was beginning to shake in its owner's fingers. He thought for a moment the marble's form would break but Anna quickly pocketed the marble and said quietly to Izumo.

"He's telling the truth. He ate something….expired and stupid. He fell…skidded. Hit his head." Soft cold hands brushed his knuckles which he barely realized were bruised. Looking down at his knees he saw that they were in the same state.

Izumo nodded at Anna and the child recognized that it was time for her to leave the room. Without another word to the bartender she left the room, but not before taking one last look at Yata before closing the door.

The two males in the room stood quiet and though Yata was found innocent, he still couldn't look at the other in the eye. The silence was finally broken when Izumo sighed and said in a tired voice, "I don't feel the need to apologize for the way I acted. Considering how similar the scene of finding you unconscious was to me, my train of thought is excusable."

Yata didn't say anything at first and instead just stared at the bed spread. When the silence lengthened he realized that the bartender wanted a response. So with careful choice of words he replied. "I haven't done any of that shit since that day. I gave you a promise and I'm standing by it." The last part he looked up to look at Izumo in the eyes.

The bartender nodded at him and pulled out a cigarette and his new lighter. "That's what I like to hear." Nothing more to say to the redhead, he left the room to smoke outside. Though he acted cold to Yata, he was heavily relieved that the other had not done anything regretful.

The day Yata ruined his sole chance of redemption was the day he would have to kick and ban Yata from Homra. And Yata knew the consequence which was why he became clean the moment Izumo told him at the hospital what he would do if he ever fucked up.

Yata watched the bartender leave and just sat still as the tension and stress slowly left his body. After a few minutes of just sitting there, he laid himself back down and cursed himself and his damn stomach which was still causing him pain. Burying his face into the pillow he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't fuck up anymore.

He also would also check expiration dates before he ate anything. Before he fell asleep his last thought was that he was sure that he didn't anything last night.

~UWB~

Over the next month, he tried his best to never step on Izumo's toes. He stayed away from fights, didn't hurt his precious fucking bar counter, and when he needed something delivered he already had his skateboard in hand. The tension between him and the bartender was slowly but surely vanishing. He was glad all this no violent shit was working because by the end of the month he was feeling like shit.

He was hoping by the start of the new month he would be feeling better, but he just got worse. He felt like he never got enough sleep anymore and was constantly napping throughout the day. The days he spent with Saruhiko were majority spent sleeping, which the monkey constantly smacked his lips at. His sex drive had plummeted and was buried under constant tiredness.

On top of his sleepiness, it seemed like he spent more time in the bathroom where he was either peeing or throwing up than with his lover or Homra. His stomach never stopped feeling funny and when he began to throw up on a daily basis the others, and he admittedly , began to worry. By the end of second week both parties were pushing him to go to the doctor to get checked out. He tried to ignore them but their stares and worried glances he received when he emerged out of the bathroom or waking up from a nap he didn't remember falling into, were quickly driving him crazy.

Though the constant bathroom trips and sleeping were bothersome, the most annoying new thing in his life did not come from him. Instead the sole female of Homra seemed to make it her life goal to make sure he never got any sleep when he did fall into a nap.

Since he was young he slept on his stomach. He was never able to sleep on his side or his back. So with nineteen years of sleeping in only one position it was a pain in his ass when Anna came one day when he was napping and began to turn him to his side.

He would wake up momentarily and try to go back to his stomach but Anna would sit on what little space of the couch that was left, and make herself a wall. And she would never move and never fail to ruin his nap.

"Anna leave me alone!" He one day snapped at her before stomping off and going upstairs. When he fell face first into the mattress and got into a comfortable position, did it hit him that he actually snapped at Anna. Thankfully Eric and Izumo were the only ones at the bar at the time and did not see the act. He still felt incredibly guilty for yelling at a girl and when he woke up from his nap he would make it up to Anna.

He was on the bed for only a minute before he fell asleep. But it felt like he was sleeping for a minute before he was again woken up by someone pushing him on his side. Groaning he opened his eyes and looked at the intruder of the room. The curse he was about to yell died at his lips when he saw that it was Anna.

The child looked sad, no doubt from his earlier actions, but kept her hand on his hip. With a determined face she sat down on the bed and glared at him. He covered his eyes in annoyance and groaned. "Anna." The hand on his hip moved to his stomach and with a steady tone she declared, "It's better to sleep this way."

He didn't reply and instead gave in to the child. He buried his face into the bed and waited for sleep to rescue him from this horrible reality.

~K~

He was lounging at Homra with Kamamoto and Eric and was trying to not fall asleep. With advice from his friends he had been trying to get more exercise by becoming the delivery boy for everyone. It was a nice idea but there were two faults.

The first being that after his 'exercise trips' he would end up knocking out the moment he sat down and would feel even more tired the next day. The other problem was that somebody kept hiding his skateboard. The others would laugh and claim he had forgotten where he placed it, but he knew he placed it right beside the door so Izumo wouldn't nag to him about scratching up the wooden floor. It would be missing up until the moment he had to leave for home or Saruhiko's, where it would magically reappear by the door.

It was also getting annoying that Saruhiko was constantly nagging at him to go to the doctors. He honestly felt like everyone was over reacting with this. He was only throwing up and having trouble staying awake…which on Friday would make it three weeks straight.

Fuck. He couldn't even lie to himself about this.

Before he could think too much about how his life went to shit, Kamamoto appeared in front of him with a cup filled with coffee. He pushed the cup into the other's hands until the redhead accepted it. "Eric said this will help you with trying to stay awake."

The blonde emerged from the back with his own cup and was looking at the redhead hesitantly.

"Thanks." Yata nodded at him and saw that other visibly relaxed at the acceptance of the drink. He took a small drink to taste the black liquid and found it to be quite bitter. The warmth of the cup helped him more than the taste. Kamamoto laughed at the face he made while Eric muttered under his breath with a small smile. "Like a child."

A little louder he commented "There's hundreds of these in America. In every corner there's a store that sells nothing but coffee. Lines around the corner, people waiting to for a cup of coffee."

This led to Kamamoto asking more about these shops and their conversation became a background buzz to Yata. His eyelids began to feel heavy and he tried to fight them to stay open. He heard the conversation die and felt their eyes on him. Taking a deep breath he rubbed his eyes and took a drink of the bitter liquid in an attempt to wake himself up.

Their stares didn't lift and Kamamoto looked at the younger male and sighed. Knowing the other would never admit to not feeling well he decided to just avoid the conversation. "Hey Yata-san I have a date this Friday. Do you mind taking and picking up Anna from school."

He scoffed in reply but after a moment he assured his friend that he would drop and pick up Anna. Now with plans for tomorrow, his plans for today now had to be reorganized. He wondered if Saruhiko would mind him bailing out for tonight. He wouldn't be able to go to both his job and the damn monkey's house tonight. And he needed his job for the money, despite how much he knew it would disappoint everyone with what his job was.

But the job was safe and relatively easy. In a way he was simply a delivery boy, which got paid a large amount for delivering such products.

With his plans now changed he downed the bitter drink and headed out. He had a busy night ahead of him.

~Project K~

He made it back to his shitty apartment a quarter after one. He made sure to set his alarm early so he could have time to hang out at the bar before taking Anna to school. Placing the alarm's volume on the highest level he quickly fell asleep.

And he quickly woke up a moment later. Though he felt like he had only closed his eyes for a moment he noticed several things. Sunlight was streaming through his sole window and to his horror he could hear horns and the sounds of the morning rush.

His eyes darted to his alarm and saw that he only had fifteen minutes to get to Homra and drop off Anna. His moves were frantic and he was thankful that he slept in his shorts. Grabbing a shirt and his skateboard he was out of his apartment and gave himself a running start.

He hit the pavement and to his horror saw how packed the streets and sidewalks were. Filled with school brats and bastards in suits he quickly took the alley routes. He was busting his ass to get to Homra but when he passed one particular alley he stopped for a moment to stare. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to remember this alley. But nothing came up.

Now frustrated he pushed the skateboarder ever faster.

When he finally reached the bar, he ran into the door and scanned for Anna. When she was nowhere in sight he panicked for a second and thought she went to school by herself. Thankfully though Bando who was sitting on the couch watching the scene informed him. "Kamamoto took her."

That's all he needed to hear before he was once again on the sidewalk. He pushed himself through the morning crowd and when he caught the sight of a frilly dark dress, he skidded to a stop and yelled out. "Oi Kamamoto!"

The tall man didn't turn to him and instead merely escorted Anna out of the stream of the morning crowd. Now on the side he waited for the skateboarder, the entire time his face in a somber expression. Yata nodded at the older man and gestured for Anna to start walking again. "Sorry for the lateness." He muttered to Kamamoto before setting off with Anna.

However a hand grabbed his arm stopped him and also halted Anna in her tracks. Yata looked up at the older man and felt his stomach twist when he saw the angry expression on the other's face.

"You look like shit Yata-san." He shot at him. Yata could count how many times he had seen Kamamoto look truly angry on one hand. But he could sense the anger from the other in an instant.

"Well fuck you too." He grumbled weakly before looking at Anna. He always forgot not to curse in front of her. Rubbing his neck nervously he apologized again. "Hey I'm sorry I'm late, I must have slept in.

"You set a doctor appointment yet?" Kamamoto questioned.

"I'm going to be late." Anna suddenly piped in. She grabbed the skateboarder's arm and pulled him back into the morning crowd. Kamamoto sighed but waved them off.

Yata sighed in a mixture of frustration and relief. He walked Anna to school in silence, but the hold on his arm was strong and made him keep up the pace. When he finally reached the gates of the most prestigious school in the district he bid the child a goodbye and double checked the time he needed to pick her up.

He went back to the bar in order to make sure he didn't let time get away from him. Thankfully both Izumo and Kamamoto were not there. He lounged at the bar and sipped through two glasses of water. He wondered if he should get some food but when Bando brought pizza, any thoughts about food were strayed from his mind.

With forty minutes left till Anna was out, he decided to head out and maybe get something from a vendor. He also couldn't handle the smell of that greasy ass pizza. Even though he hadn't eaten anything all day, his stomach turned a blind eye towards the usual delicious food. While everyone else started eating he quietly slipped away.

He hoped he could find a vendor on his way to the school but before he was even a third way to the school his stomach rolled and the familiar feeling of nausea hit him. He barely made it to an alley before he threw up his stomach's contents. The hot bile burned his throat and made his eyes water. He groaned and wrapped his arms around his still protesting stomach.

When he was sure he was done throwing up, he went back to the streets and tried to get back on his skateboard. But after only going down one street and having to jump off his skateboard to run back into another alley, he quickly chose walking over his skateboard. The usual fifteen minutes it took for him to skateboard was doubled over having to stop several times to dry heave and spit out bile. The vendors on the street didn't help either as every smell made his stomach roll and caused him to throw up.

He glanced at his watch and saw to his horror that he only had five minutes till Anna's school was released. Cursing he picked up his skateboard and tried to jog but that quickly ended when he started to feel lightheaded.

Growing even more frustrated he thought to himself 'Stop acting like a fucking pussy. Get on your skateboard and hurry the fuck up'. At the last mile he powered through it by skating through the crowd and sometimes through the streets. When he finally reached the school grounds he quickly scanned for Anna. He unfortunately saw that most of the school grounds were deserted.

When he finally saw the child standing next to her teacher outside the gates his heart sank when he saw that she was the last child to be picked up in her class. Pushing himself faster, he shortened the distance quickly but unsteadily. When he reached the curb and tried to jump it, but the jump turned into a fall which made the two angry faced females suddenly pale.

Thankfully he caught himself and only his left knee got scraped. He quickly up righted himself and he could feel his face heating up. With a quick bow to Anna's teacher he sputtered out. "Sorry about the lateness. It won't happen again."

The teacher stared at him for a few seconds before she sighed and turned to Anna. "Have a good weekend Anna-chan." With nothing more to say to the strange duo, she returned to her classroom.

Now alone with Anna he turned to her and winced when she quickly walked in the direction of Homra. Walking after her he pleaded to her.

"Anna! I'm sorry!" Her pace did not falter. "Anna please I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. I tried to get here as fast as I could." His breathing was labored and his hand was clutching his stomach, which was starting to feel uneasy. He stopped walking and for a moment he thought he was going to throw up once again but thankfully it was just nausea.

Anna stopped now and looked at him. She saw that his face was filled with dread, no doubt thinking she would tell Izumo about the incident and his obvious discomfort. She sighed and walked back to the side of the redhead.

She reached out her hand and with a determined expression she demanded. "Your skateboard."

Yata blinked for a few moments and hesitantly asked. "Do you want to want ride it?" Anna simply responded by glaring at him and grabbed the skateboard. He watched in silence as she tucked it under her arm and when she pushed her bag to him, he took it without a word.

Still holding the board she walked ahead of the redhead and mumbled. "No more riding this. You'll get hurt."

The redhead cursed under his breath but simply walked beside the child.

After a few moments of silence Anna declared. "No need to tell Izumo about this." The smile that came to the skateboarder's face was face splitting and Anna made a mental note to tell Izumo to ease off Yata a bit. This entire month, it seemed Izumo saw Yata as a ticking time bomb. But the bartender didn't know what she knew. And she had made it her personal goal to protect Yata.

She glanced at the redhead and saw the tiredness in his eyes and body. And though he was tired the redhead tried to make conversation. "So what do you want to do when we get to Homra." He asked in hopes he could redeem himself.

"What does it matter you're going to fall asleep." The child replied simply.

Yata scoffed. "You've been spending too much time with Kusanagi-san."

The laugh that escaped Anna's mouth thankfully went unnoticed.


	3. Chapter 3

A moan escaped him as teeth bit down on his bottom lip, before lips covered his. Saru's lips were always smooth and their lips glided over each other's. Hands cupped his face and the kiss deepened. Fingers grabbed at his hair and his mouth fell open to release a gasp.

He tried to move his mouth away and further towards the other's bare neck. Saru was shirtless, but he kept his shirt on and he knew that was bothering the monkey. Saru ignored the mouth that was biting down on his neck in favor of the other's chest. Cold hands snaked their way up his shirt, and the redhead couldn't help but shiver at the cold intruder.

He tried to push the hands away and tried to get Saru's attention back to him and off his cloths. When he had come barging in Saru's apartment, his goal for the day was to forget his worries. So when they started kissing on the bed and the damn monkey took his shirt off, Yata knew his clothes would be a problem.

He didn't want Saru to see what he did to himself.

He sucked harder on the other's neck and when that didn't work he tried to kiss the others lips again. Flicking his tongue over Saru's bottom lip, he inwardly sighed in relief when the hands left his shirt and came back to the back of his head to pull him closer.

Their kiss was heated and for one blissful moment, Yata forgot about everything. The throwing up every morning, the random bouts of exhaustion, and the stares from everyone back at Homra, all that vanished and just the feeling of Saru's body on him was there.

But with his luck lately, the damn monkey's hand started going for his chest, and accidentally rubbed over his new wound. It caught him off-guard and he couldn't stop the wince and the grunt of pain.

And then reality and all his worries came back to him.

Before he could even open his eyes, hands were pulling his shirt down to reveal his upper chest. He didn't dare meet the others eyes. He already knew what the other was looking at.

Where his Homra insignia once was, was now red, scratched, and irritated skin. It was like a damn target against his pale skin. He had been trying to hide it but already some from Homra could already tell what he was hiding when he refused to take his shirt off in the unbearable heat a few days ago. He didn't know he was doing this to himself. The only times he caught himself were when Anna or Rikio stared at him before pulling his hand away from his chest.

"You've been rubbing again." Saru declared. Before the other could try to hide the injured skin he placed his palm on the other's chest and held him down. Pushing away Misaki's hands, he felt the abused skin. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and anger. Layers of skin had been peeled away and nail marks were clearly marked on the once perfect skin.

"It's fine. c'mon don't stop and leave me with fucking blueballs!" Yata tried to lean up to the other but the damn monkey wouldn't even let him get up. Instead he just kept looking and lightly tracing his fingers over the raw skin.

Looking down at the redhead beneath him that was currently cursing him, the third in command scowled. Removing himself from the redhead who gave a cry of protest, he got off the bed and searched for his jacket. When he finally fished out his phone he quickly went through his texts. Not finding what he needed, he clicked his tongue again and growled at his lover. "You need to see a doctor. I'll make an appointment tomorrow."

Yata scoffed and quickly feeling an argument coming headed for the door. "I'm fine I don't nee-

An arm came down and barred him from leaving the room. His eyes flashed to the damn monkey's and before he could yell, Saru barked at him. "You're losing weight, throwing up, and the only time you hurt yourself is when you're worried or nervous about something! You're seeing a doctor."

Now angry at the others aggressive reaction he yelled back. "I didn't come here to get fucking scolded like a kid. I get enough of that already." Grabbing his skateboard he tried to go around the taller man. "I'm out of here."

Before he could try to go around the bluenette, his shirt was grabbed and he was roughly handled so he stood in front of Saru.

"Let me see your arms." The other demanded as he tried to pull the sleeves of the white shirt. If he saw Misaki's veins and wrists abused, he didn't know what he will do. The redhead fought him and now he had anger as a boost of energy. He managed to push the other away but he didn't get any closer to the door. "Bastard!" He shouted before he pushed the stupid monkey, hoping to get a pathway towards the door.

The bluenette now angry himself, tried to seize the redhead's arms again. "If you got nothing to hide, show me your arms, Show me that you're not on drugs again!"

Yata felt his hands fist at his sides and the door was now his second priority. The first was punching the monkey in the face. Dropping his skateboard he stood in front of the third in command and yelled in his face. "You're a fucking asshole."

Saru ignored the insult and instead focused on his Misaki. With a finger he jabbed at the shorter of the two's self-injury. "The rubbing, not hungry, tired all the time. How the hell am I not supposed to think you're back on drugs when you refuse to go to the doctors?" Glaring at the other he continued with venom in his voice. "You acted just like this when the Red King die-."

"Shut the fuck up!"

And Saru actually did, because after hearing Misaki's broken voice telling him to stop he knew he went too far. As much as he had hated the Red King, he knew Yata idolized him. He tried to grab Misaki's attention so he could apologize but by this point Yata wasn't listening and had pushed through Saru.

Ignoring the several apologies he remained silent and opted to slam the door hard enough where the entire apartment shook to send his message. The redhead left the building with tears clouding his eyesight. He didn't know why he was crying. He was fucking angry at Saru for saying such a thing. That asshole knew not to bring up the past. That was rule.

~K~

He stayed away from the damn monkey and instead divided his free time in his shitty apartment, and his job which was really taking a toll on him. He loved the pay but the other day he almost got caught by his boss' rival. And he couldn't go the speed he needed and was just sheer luck that a Scepter 4 dog was in the neighborhood that distracted the rival. He managed to deliver the package but his legs were feeling shaky and he had to get off his skateboard before he ate shit. And the pavement wasn't looking that comfortable.

Every time he made his slow journey to his apartment, he had to stop at a certain alley. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to remember but every fucking time he would get a headache and have to stop thinking.

By the time a week passed without seeing the monkey, Yata's fingers were starting to twitch with the urge to send a message to him. He couldn't lose Saru after he just got him back in his life. Yeah he was a total dick for bringing up Mikoto-san but he was just worried about him.

It didn't help that this morning when he caught his reflection in the cracked mirror in his apartment that he did look eerily similar to when he was on drugs.

The dark bags under his eyes, his face looking sharper due to weight loss, and his skin having an off pale color made him realize that he did need to go to the doctors.

That had made him wary of going to Homra, because he knew the stares would increase tenfold. He was sure they would come to the same conclusion that Saru did.

So he just stayed in his small apartment, only times he went outside other than his job was when hunger actually hit him, which was rare nowadays. He usually ate at the dead of night, because oddly enough that was when he did feel hungry. The rest of day was usually sleep, or time spent in the bathroom throwing up or pissing

But at the end of the week, he decided that he needed to end this strife between Saru before it got worse. So he decided to surprise the stupid monkey with a nice dinner. He would eat in front of him, which would make him happy because Saru was weird like that, and he would agree to go to the doctor.

So with that plan in mind, he set off to buy all the shit he needed for the night. Buying two entrees at a decent restaurant and the coolest looking wine bottle at a liquor store, they didn't bother checking IDs, he made his way to Saru's.

His hopes of coming to the location before the bluenette was fulfilled and he quickly set up the table and meals. He left the bottle alone, because he honestly didn't know how to open it despite being in a bar for a few years.

With everything set, he chose to wait on the bed until Saru showed up. It was Thursday and he got out early today. As long as The Heartless Women didn't over pile him with paperwork, he should be home in about fifteen minutes. Laying down on the bed he hoped Saru understood the dinner was his way of saying sorry. Though he should have never brought up Mikoto-san, he really was just worried.

Mikoto-san. His stomach clenched at horrible memories and the cold truth that his King was dead. He was so lost the first week after everything settled down. He couldn't fucking eat or sleep and the fact that his insignia was gone, he felt a part of him had gone with it.

And then he ran into an ex-member of Homra. He gave him something and it made everything go away. Those were the only times in those months where he wasn't suffering from his thoughts. But then he fucked up and that was the day his relationship with Kusanagi-san was ruined.

Before he could think further on that day, a sharp pain hit him by his collarbone. Looking down at where the pain was coming from, he felt his stomach drop. The fingers that were unconsciously rubbing on his chest were now coated with blood.

"Fuck!" Quickly getting up so he wouldn't stain the bedcovers, he sprinted towards the bathroom. When inspecting the now bleeding spot, he grimaced at the sight of it. Five deep lines were scratched into the spot and more layers of skin had been scratched away.

Just looking at the self-inflected wound caused anger to surge through him. With trembling fingers he went through the drawers and found the first aid kit. Patching up the wound, he quickly cleaned his mess and made sure his shirt covered the bandage.

When he exited the bathroom he saw that Saru was still not home. Sighing he decided to just wait it out while sitting at the table. He thankfully had gotten a dish that still was still edible when cold. He waited in silence though his patience quickly died. Folding his arms on the table he rested his head.

~K~

Two hours had passed and it was now midnight. Yata had actually fallen asleep after thirty minutes of waiting, but now that he had woken up and saw that he was still alone, he quickly lost his temper. Grabbing the alcohol bottle, he decided to just down the whole bottle and then leave the apartment.

He tried in vain to pull the cork out of the bottle, but when that didn't work he reached his limit. Throwing the bottle at the door, he yelled in a mixture of anger and frustration. He didn't even get a satisfaction when he heard the bottle break and scatter across the floor.

As soon as the yell died, he felt exhaustion overcome his body. He brought a shaky hand to swipe the hair out of his hair and he was startled to see that he was covered in a sheet of sweat. He sighed in defeat and sat back down on the chair.

The door opening went over his head and it wasn't until he heard someone call his name did he realized that he was finally not alone in the room.

"Misaski?" Glancing around his apartment he sighed and said in an exhausted tone. "What did I do now?"

Now embarrassed, exhausted and disappointed he yelled at the other "I bought us a nice fucking dinner and an expensive drink. I was being nice and tried to apologize but you didn't think to tell me you were going to work late, so all this is your fucking fault.

The third in command couldn't help the smile on his face as he walked towards the slumped figure. Embracing the other he laughed into the other's hair. "Misaki is so cute when he tries to be romantic."

Yata didn't choose to reply, and instead focused on burying himself into the other's warmth. The other's arm lifted to pet his hair, but something caught the redhead's eye. In a strangled gasp he yelled. "Oh shit Saru you're bleeding."

Saru looked down at where the other was looking and chuckled. "I love when Misaki worries about me, but don't worry this is not my blood.

Stepping away from the bluenette, Yata got his first real look at Saru. He too looked tired but he wasn't pale or hurt. "Is that the reason why you're late?"

Saru didn't answer until after he took off his coat. He pulled Misaki with him to lie on the couch; the exhausted redhead was happily to comply. When both were laid out on the couch, did Saru finally answer the question. "A strain is on the loose. She's powerful and many enemies want to have her for their convenience."

"What's so special that everyone wants her?" Yata asked curiously. He pressed himself deeper into Saru, wanting more of the warmth that the other gave off. The other accommodated him and wrapped his arms around him. "She will grant the desire that is on your mind when you contact her."

A headache formed in Yata's head, as if sparked by what Saru said.

Yata didn't respond and ignored Saru when he hugged him tighter. "But I already have what I desired the most. My Misaki in my arms."

The headache worsened and he struggled to ask. "D-Do you have a picture of her?"

Saru clicked his tongue but dug for his phone. When he finally pulled it out he quickly scanned his saved pictures which were mostly of a sleeping redhead. When he finally found the picture the blonde sent him he let the other see. Handing it to his Misaki he added. "I thought of Anna when I saw the picture."

The picture depicted a young girl with a nervous smile on her face. The picture of her was in public in a middle of a crosswalk. She stood out due to her torn clothes but also because she was staring directly at the camera.

Those large beautiful eyes.

Flashes of the alley stormed through his head. The men trying to grab the girl. Hands on his stomach.

"Hey." A hand was shaking him. "Misaki?!"

Oh god. The girl she granted their wish. But did that really mean...Oh god the throwing up, the constant bathroom breaks.

"Misaki! You need to breathe. Breathe with me. Come on calm down." Someone faraway was yelling at him. Oh wait that was Saru.

He opened his mouth to try to yell at Saru to shut up and leave him alone but he couldn't get the words out. He also realized at the moment that he couldn't get air in his lungs. Everything came crashing down around him as he was brought back to reality.

His chest was heaving up and down, and though he was breathing rapidly, it didn't seem like any was entering his lungs. His head started to feel light while his body seemed to be disconnected from him. He felt himself fall forward and though he tried to catch himself, the darkness that was creeping on him swallowed him.

His last thought was 'I can't be pregnant. I can't.'

~K~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Unicorn and Stara-chi for commenting and everyone else that gave me a kudos.
> 
> So this is just my headcanon, but I do believe that Yata would fall into some kind of bad habit after Mikoto died. That was just one hell of a week for him, two important people died and his place where he belonged became lost. So yeah I think his downfall is pretty realistic and it will be further explained.
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you next time! Hope you guys have a good night!


	4. Chapter 4

The room he is in is bare. But the sound of crying is enough to fill the room and make him feel as he if is suffocating.

The screaming feels like it is piercing through his skull. The cry is high and never seems to end. The foreign sound makes his chest ache and teeth clench. And it doesn't stop. He closes his eyes and tries to dim his senses. Anything to just to get away from the awful noise.

Cupping his hands over his ears he tries to put something between his eardrums and the never ending wailing. But it just seems to make it worse as the cries volume intensifies.

No longer able to handle the noise, he screams out desperately "Shut the fuck up!" He instantly regrets opening his mouth as the wail reaches its max. "Please stop crying! Please."

His pleads are answered and the cries are abruptly halted. He hesitantly removes his hands from his ears and opens his eyes. He looks around the room trying to find the source of the awful cries. When he looks in the far right corner of the room, he is startled to see a small wrapped bundle.

The bundle is wrapped in a small blanket and he walks to the bundled figure with trembling legs. When he is finally next to the bundle, his curiosity finally pushes him to peers down. And when his gaze is returned by a pair of eyes, his breath is taken away.

He blinks and somehow he ends up on his knees

With shaking arms he lifts the baby off the floor. He tries to support the head, like he heard everyone says. He's being the gentlest he's ever been in his entire life, but it doesn't matter. The moment he is fully standing, the infant slips through his hold. His arms and hands are frantic to try to catch the child, but no matter how fast he moves, he can't catch the small bundle.

And the crack that fills the air when the baby hits the floor is deafening. The redhead takes a step back, pupils fully blown and shakes attacking his body. Another step. Another.

Another till he turns around and bolts away. Away from the now silent bleeding child on the floor. Yata feels bile come up his throat, but he tightens his throat and wills it away. He can't stop now; no he had to get away. He searches frantically for a door but the room he is in, is just four walls.

And though he is running his fastest, every time he dares to look back to see how far he has ran away from the baby, he is startled to see that he has not put any distance between them. He tries to run even faster, but the sound of splashing stops him.

When the sound reaches his ears he tries his hardest, but he can't stop his eyes as they lower to the ground. The sight of blood makes his stomach drop and his feet fumble under him. He lands on his hands and knees in the puddle of blood and is now facing the now blood stained bundle.

The urge to throw up is strong and he quickly tries to get out of the puddle of blood. But he can't move.

His panic is starting to consume him but the moment it spills is when the blanket falls and reveals the infant's chestnut hair.

Hair that is identical to his. He stares at the baby, mouth agape and a scream tears out of him. He closes his eyes as more panicked screams tear from him.

Though he tries to flee again, he realizes he can never run away from the truth.

It was his fault. It was an accident but he still killed an innocent child. He killed a baby.

He murdered his baby.

~K~

The hands that are gripping his arms are what finally drag him back to reality. His eyes shoot open and are frantically scanning the room. He is relived that he is no longer in the bare room and is instead back in the organized room of Saru.

The hands again are shaking him and that is when he realizes that he is still screaming. But he is not the only one.

"Misaki?! Damn it, look at me. Look at me, what's wrong!" The hand is now clenching his jaw and this is what he needed. He needed something to hold him down and remind him that this is reality.

Granted the reality was still as shitty as his dream but at least he didn't kill his fucking baby in reality. Just thinking of the nightmare made him have chills run through his body. He fisted his hands and buried his head in the other's chest.

This move only made Saru worry more, but he saw that the other needed to be comforted first. Gathering the other in his arms, he picked his Misaki up and placed both of them in the middle of the bed. He clicked his tongue when he felt the other was lighter than the last time he saw him. Lying on his side so the other's back was against his chest, he embraced the other.

The other was still clearly shaken by his fainting spell and he detected the other may have had a disturbing dream while unconscious. He tried to calm the other and he remembered when they were in school during finals week, Misaki would be highly stressed. And all it took sometimes to calm him was laying his hand over the other's neck.

And sure enough it still worked, as the other's breathing slowed down a little. Following that lead he tried to calm the other by combing his fingers through his hair. They lay there in silence and as it grew the tenser Misaki's body grew.

When it looked like Misaki couldn't grow any tenser, he finally broke the silence in a wavering tight voice. "Saru. I-"

He stopped as his tongue felt heavy and he didn't know how the fuck he was supposed to say what he needed to. How the fuck do you tell your lover that you're pregnant and it's all because of shittyass strain's fault.

He clenched his eyes and teeth in frustration and pulled on his hair. He was never good at stress. He remembered the week after Totsuka-san was killed, he didn't sleep and he barely ate. Damn it, why the hell was he thinking such horrible thoughts. His breathing quickened and he decided that he would get this shit over as quick as possible.

Taking a shaky breath, he more or less yelled in a rush "I ran into the strain, the strain that granted your desires, after that one night. That night we talked about…about that. And I was thinking about it on my way home. I wanted...I desired it." He turns to face Saru now and though he is terrified to meet the other's gaze, he knows he has to. "She was being attacked. I saved her. I didn't know she was a strain. She- god damn it I don't even know what she did but she said she wanted to thank me. She touched my stomach and-and I can't be. I can't be….Saru." His throat was now tight as confusion and stress attacked him. He cursed at himself for being so weak, but he was getting even more stressed as the other didn't reply.

Instead the third in command stared at him with piercing eyes. Though he was silent, Yata knew the damn monkey's brain was piecing everything together. But he so desperately wanted the other to tell him that the strain couldn't do such a thing. He wanted Saru to click his tongue at him and lazily tell him to stop being so stupid.

But instead the damn asshole destroyed his world by confirming his fear with a quiet firm voice. "She granted your desire at the moment."

Yata could only grab at his hair and clench his teeth in response. This wasn't fucking possible. He was a man. He shouldn't be having this problem.

Hands grabbed his shoulder and brought him into an embrace. He tried to avoid reality by burying his face into Saru's chest. With his face buried he was unable to see the genuine smile that had spread across the bluenette's face.

~K~

After the realization of Misaki's wellbeing settled, the seriousness of the situation hit Saru. He carefully pushed his still silent lover out of his chest and affectionately stroked the other's face.

"I need to talk to someone. I will be gone at most an hour. I'm going to take you somewhere where you can wait.

"Hom-"

"Homra of course my Misaki." Already he was getting up and dashing towards his closet. Misaki needed a thicker coat. He cursed when he saw that the only coat he had that was clean at the moment was his Scepter 4. But it was late at night and it was going to be cold.

Running back, he whispered. "Don't worry Misaki I will make everything alright. Trust me." He quickly coaxed the stiff body into the coat.

The fact that other didn't throw a fit at wearing the blue jacket made him worry about Misaki's mental state. He brushed his lover's cheek and laid a gentle kiss on his lips, which he worriedly noted were chapped. The fact that Misaki had no reaction, and instead stared at nothing, made his mind unsettled.

Leaving his lover's side, he brought out his phone which still had the picture of the strain on the screen. He quickly made a few calls to the headquarters and he was thankful that a low recruit was pulling the graveyard shift. He quickly ordered the newbie to deliver transportation to the desired address. And with a growl he ordered him to get it there in less than eight minutes.

Turning back to his Misaki, his worry grew when the other hadn't moved or tore his lifeless gaze from the wall he was intent in staring at. Now just waiting for the car, he sat beside Misaki and held his hand. When his phone rang he quickly answered it and listened to the nervous rant of the newbie telling him that the car was in front of the apartment complex.

Getting up he cupped Misaki's chin and affectionately coaxed him. "Come, the quicker we leave, the faster I can come back."

The other was slow and shaky as he made his way to the door and Saru was actually worried that he would fall and injure himself and their child. Just the thought of an injured Misaki and his child had him quickly picking up the other. Again the other didn't react and instead just pressed his head against his chest.

Stepping outside he growled at the newbie to get out of the car, and walk back to headquarters. The newbie didn't dare argue with the third in command but his eyes did linger a little too long on the figure in his superior's arms.

The figure was donning a Scepter 4 coat but he did not recognize him. The young man's gaze was lifeless and he seemed sickly pale. He would have continued to stare but the feeling of a death glare on him quickly had him looking away and making his way back to headquarters.

When he heard the engine start, he carefully glanced back to see the car head off. He can only wonder where the third in command and the stranger were going.

~K~

The bartender of Homra was rudely awakened by a series of hard knocks coming from the backdoor. Cursing when he saw it was still early morning, he quickly went to stop the endless knocks. These were the moments where he hated that he had the habit of staying the weekend at the bar. In case any of the members found that they needed a place to crash or in need of anything, they could come to Homra. He and Anna would always be there.

But that didn't mean he had to greet the night visitors with a smile. Hell no, Kusanagi was pissed that he had to unlock the back door at two in the morning. And it didn't help that the night visitors were a pale scared looking Yata, alongside the third in command of Scepter 4.

Opening the door he sarcastically greeted the two. "As much as I love uninvited guests and a half dead looking Yatagarasu I'm afraid I have to turn you away." His teasing of the skateboarder was cut short as the ex-Homra member scolded him. "Leave him alone he's feeling unwell."

He sighed and looked through his pockets to see if he had slipped a cigarette. While looking he muttered to the bluenette. "We've been badgering him to go to the doctors, but it seems like he still hasn't. Well from your glare it seems like you want to come inside. Well come on get inside, but don't be loud. Anna is still sleeping."

He turned around and sighed when a small figure was already standing in the hallway. She was peering through him and her eyes were only on the skateboarder. When the two entered the building she quickly went to Yata's side and grabbed his hand. She guided the silent skateboarder towards the couches. The only time her eyes left Yata were to glance at Saruhiko.

The two stared at each other for a moment and the third in command clicked his tongue in annoyance. Turning to the bartender, he looked around the room before asking. "Is anyone else here?"

"Just us." Anna answered before the blonde.

Saru nodded in approval and turned to Kusanagi. He gestured the man to exit the room and enter the hallway. Izumo looked at the redhead for a moment before following the third in command.

In a low voice Saru whispered to the other. "Something has happened to Misaki. I'm telling you but only you. Anna most likely already knows, but the rest are not included. Just you. And I'm telling you because Misaki is going to need someone for support and who he trusts from Homra."

The third in command made sure the blonde understood how serious he was before he started explaining Misaki's current situation.

Outside the hallway, the aura of the bar room was nothing but serious. The two excluded from the conservation in the hallway sat on the couch and let the silence suffocate them.

The silence was broken however when the former vanguard accused the child. "You knew all along didn't you?"

The child looked at him with fearful eyes but nodded after a moment of hesitation.

"W-When did you know? Since the beginning?! Did you see it going to happen? Could you have stopped it?" With each question he moved closer to the child until he was invading her personal space.

He waited for an answer but when he saw the child's wide fearful eyes; all the answers meant nothing to him. "It doesn't matter anyway." He whispered to himself rather than Anna.

The tone and meaning of his words were twisted to the child and with a worried tone she asked in alarm. "Yata isn't going to..." She didn't dare finish her question and only looked at the other with pleading eyes.

The image of the bleeding infant on the floor came to mind and a full body shake consumed him. His throat constricted and his eyes clenched closed in vain to try to get rid of the image. "No. No Anna. I'm keeping the…..I mean if I'm able-"

He was cut off when Saru marched into the room and towards Yata. He sat next to his lover and reassured him before having to go. "I have to leave. I must get a few things done before I come back. You will call if anything happens or if you don't want to stay here any longer." He ignored the glare the child sent him.

Saru went in for a kiss but thankfully he read Misaki's body language. He opted instead to lay a hand on the other's cheek and stroked it affectionately. "You will call if anything."

A nod was all he received in response.

Not having any time to spare he left the building and made his way to his desired destination.

The two remaining on the couches sat rigidly waiting for the bartender to come out. Yata's breathing quickened with uneasiness but Anna covered his hand with hers and gave it a comforting squeeze.

He could only enjoy the comfort for a moment before a crash was heard.

Kusanagi stormed through the room and pointed a finger at Yata before ordering with raging eyes. "You. Upstairs now."

~K~


	5. Chapter 5

The command was followed by tense silence as both of the couch occupants stared at the bartender with fear in their eyes. Anna opened her mouth to protest but Kusangi quickly cut her off by ordering the child to return to bed. The pout and eyes burning with determination battled against the smoker's order, until finally the child's brows furrowed and she stomped her way out of the room. Yata and Kusangi both knew she wouldn't go back to sleep.

"C'mon, upstairs. Now."

He quickly followed the short demand and was sure to walk behind the bartender. He didn't know how his shaky legs managed to walk him to the room.

Danger wasn't anything new to Yata. He ollied through a fucking window just to interrogate some bastards they thought killed Totsuka-san. He beat up any dumbass that would try to challenge him and most of the time all he had for a weapon was his bat. But he still kicked ass and rarely felt fear.

But right now.

Right now his legs felt like they going to go out on him, and his stomach felt like it was about to empty its contents. He followed the bartender with a large gap between them, and when they entered the room Izumo-san chose, he gulped loudly when the door was slammed closed.

He stood still and did not dare to move until the other told him to. His hands began to shake when he felt the bartender close the gap between them. A hand pushed between his shoulder blades towards the bed in the room. "Damn it; sit on the bed before you fall over."

Without a retort, he more or less collapsed on the bed. His eyes immediately began to close but a series of quick sharp snaps had him rushing to sit up and look at the other. He stumbled and tried to say his part before the other could begin his tirade.

"I-Kusangi-san-"

But he was too late as the bartender easily cut him off. His lips pressed thin, and his hand hovering over his pocket, where Yata knew laid his cigarettes. But with the surprising news he just received he wouldn't dare smoke in front of Yata. Instead he clenched his other hand into a fist and in a tone which told Yata not to interrupt he asked.

"Why did Mikoto leave you and the rest of Homra money?" He waited for an answer but Yata remained silent. Answering his own question he peered at the younger man's eyes and answered angrily "He left you money so you could enrich your live! He didn't want your life to revolve around Homra after his death. Mikoto hoped that you would be smart enough to move on and start building your future. Go back to school, or find a damn job. Anything to start your future! But now-"The bartender stops and looks down at the other's stomach. His face falls and he wipes his face angrily.

"You have no future now."

The entire time Kusangi was scolding Yata, he had to bite his tongue in order to not reply angrily. But the last remark was too much and Yata would be damned if he didn't defend himself.

The skateboarder stood up, his eyes furious and hands balled into fists. He unclenched his jaw and with venom in his words he spat at the bartender. "You're a real asshole if for a second you think that I didn't try like everyone else. I tried to go back to school, shit I even tried to find night classes, but no one would accept me. Because what everyone tends to forget is that I'M YAGETSURA . I'm a known criminal. I was to fucking mixed in!"

The bartender tried to interrupt but Yata didn't let him.

"From the moment I joined, I was being thrown into jail. That shit stayed on my record. My record that is filled with crimes that I committed but thankfully Mikoto-san bailed me out on. I can't get a job, go to school…I can't do shit! And I guess it's my fucking fault for not being fast enough to run from the police and Scepter 4…BUT you don't get to stand there and tell me I'm not doing shit with my life. Cause that's not fucking fair!"

"So you don't have a job. Care to explain where you've been going when you claim you're going to your job

His air of confidence after his defense instantly deflated as the bartender locked on only one piece of information during his retort. His stomach dropped and he tried to reply but stumbled. "I-I have a job I-"

"Now is not the time to lie to me Yata!"

The yell silenced him. Taking a deep breath Yata prepared himself to tell the truth about his job. If the bartender could take the news that he was pregnant ok, then this wouldn't be too bad. Or so he hoped.

"I'm a delivery guy." He answered feebly.

"What do you deliver?" The bartender shot back.

Yata gulped and wondered how the hell he was going to get the truth out of his mouth. Licking his dry lips he croaked out the heavy word between barely open lips. "Drugs."

Yata watched as a series of expressions ran through the other's face. They were small but for there to be any was significant from Izumo. Now yelling the bartender demanded. "Are you working with the same guys who you were getting your stuff from?"

"Well yeah I hung out with them for a while and the guy offered and I-

"Why the hell would you go back to those scumbags!"

"Because-"

"Give me one damn reason why you chose them over everyone at the bar. What could possibly make you choose them over us!" The bartender was close to his face now and Yata could feel his anger becoming too much. Give him one reason. Oh he would give him a fucking reason. So with anger laced into his reply he yelled back. "I NEEDED MONEY TO PAY RENT, FOOD, TO FUCKING LIVE!"

"You could have gotten all that and more from here. What makes you think we wouldn't!" Izumo wasn't satisfied with that answer and right now his usual cool attitude was diminishing from the other's stupidity.

But Yata wasn't done yet as he screamed back. "BECAUSE I COULDN'T GO HERE. I COULDN'T SEE YOU GUYS. THIS PLACE WAS KILLING ME!" He felt lightheaded but he continued, this time without the screaming. "Five months ago I couldn't step into this place because everyone got messed up after Mikoto-san's dea-" His voice gave out on him and even though it had been five months he still couldn't voice the fact that his King was dead.

"I lost Homra, my apartment, and…we lost two important people all in two fucking weeks. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't come back here. So I just roamed the streets for a couple weeks. Sometimes I would pass by the bar and see at least three of you guys here. But I couldn't, I couldn't go in."

The bartender remembered those weeks well, how the skateboarder was slowly backing away from the group and not returning to Homra. He had been scared that he or the others would find the skateboarder dead in an alley. Well the day he finally found Yata, it wasn't that far off from his fear.

That morning when he went to take out the morning trash was one he would never forget.

He had simply been going outside to throw away the trash when a sight of something in the corner of his eye made him turn. The sight of Yata leaning against the wall pale, chest barely moving, and his lips a tint blue of color made his mouth fall and cigarette with it. The bag of garbage had slipped through his fingers as he rushed to the side of the fallen skateboarder.

Holding the skateboarder's head between his hands he slapped his face a couple times. "Yata! Yata you open your eyes right now."

Eyes sluggishly opened and revealed pupils so small that the bartender felt fear run through his veins. Speaking of veins, his eyes strayed from the other's face to his arms. A groan escaped him as he picked up Yata's arm, and inspected the bulging swollen vein.

"RIKIO!"He called out loudly. He needed to get Yata to the hospital. The sound of heavy footsteps followed by several others, no doubt worried about the panic tone in the usual level headed bartender's voice.

The footsteps halted abruptly and a series of muffled groans were heard as everyone bumped into each other and into the large body of Rikio. The large man stared with wide eyes at the duo on the ground. Sunglasses could not hide the emotions that ravaged the man's face as he stared down at his dying childhood friend.

Izumou however did not have time for feelings and he quickly snapped at the other. "Rikio grab this idiot, I'm going to get the van. Be quick. Bandou, Eric watch Anna and don't leave the bar until we get back."

Thankfully they reacted quickly and ushered Anna away from the scene. The bartender barely grabbed the keys when he felt Rikio right behind him. Quickly sprinting to the van with the other on his trail he quickly drove to the hospital. The entire time Rikio held his comrade and stared at the limp body in his hands.

His eyes never strayed too far from the skateboarder's chest and watched as it barely moved. However when the skateboarder's hands which would spontaneously spasm, his eyes would study the fingernails were a sharp blue, just like the veins on Yata's arms.

"Heroin?" He asked out loud. He wasn't expecting an answer really. But the bartender who's thoughts was on the same track replied. "Most likely."

"One of the newer guys was into that stuff. I had my suspicions but then I saw his arm during the battle, veins were popping out of his arm."

Izumou didn't have a reply to that information so instead he remained silent. The sound of shallow breaths was the only noise that filled the van. By the time they ran into the entrance of the hospital Rikio was muttering that he could barely feel a pulse. The words barely left his mouth before the body in his charge went uncomfortably still. It only took a moment for Izumou to see that Yata had stopped breathing and screamed at the nurses and doctors to help the kid.

The rest of the day was spent with Yata unconscious on a bed while a doctor gave him jargon medical terms describing how the skateboarder had deprived and destroyed his body over the past few weeks.

Staring at the still body of the skateboarder, the bartender thought to himself how disturbing it was to see Yata so quiet. But being hospitalized or not, he was still going to scream and yell at the idiot. Yata needed someone at the moment, and the bartender knew he and the others back at the bar would be there willingly. But that was only if Yata would accept the help.

The moment, the other regained consciousness he would deal with the consequences. He would only get one chance. If he threw away that chance then that was his fault.

Now the bartender really wanted a cigarette but instead he sighed. "So instead you went to fill your body with drugs with other dirt bags. That makes perfect sense, I can now see why you chose them over us.

"Don't twist the situation!"

"I'm not twisting anything. You just said that you would come to the bar but then go to the drug dealers to get a high. And after you almost died, you then become a pack mule for them, delivering drugs at night." He let that sink in and was happy to see that whatever retorts the other had, died on his lips." What the hell was going through your mind?"

"I told you! I need the money for my apartme-"

"There's always been a place for you here Yata! There's rooms here that you can take and-"

This time it was Yata who interrupted and finally gave up and revealed what he had been dreading. "Those are Mikoto-sans! Fuck this is his room!" The skateboarder suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Damn it. Fuck..I'm not; I wasn't able to move like the rest of you guys. Every time I stepped into Homra I couldn't stand it. I expected to see Totsuka-san or Mikoto-san on the couch and-

That comment was what made Izumo lose his control and he raged "You don't think we all felt like that! You don't think Anna wasn't hurting from losing them."

The words struck Yata and he couldn't form a reply. He dropped his head and shame was written all over his body language. The bartender looked at the exhausted pale body in front of him and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am getting off topic. We are here to talk about what that strain did to you."

He was a little relieved when the kid finally got some color on him by blushing. "So from what Saru told me, this strain-"

"I don't want to talk about it." Yata quickly cut in.

The kid was testing his patience and he snapped back in a sarcastic tone. "You don't want to talk about it?! You don't want to talk how this is going to change your entire life. How this can actually take your life. Do you even know if you're capable of carrying this…this thing that the strain gave you? How do you know if this strain even gave you the miracle of pregnancy? These are a lot of questions Yata are you sure you don't want to talk about it?!"

After his rant of questions, the bartender realized he was blinded by anger for a moment. Because he remembered that Yata was blushing, not being a deathly white when he started talking. And that's when it finally hit him.

Yata is only nineteen years old. He was just a kid. Of course he wouldn't be thinking of all this. The dangers, and potential risks he is going to face now cause of this strain's 'gift'. He had seen how Yata dealt with stress, and what he was doing was not helping him.

He quickly tried to right the situation. "Hey. Hey Yata." The attempt at gaining his attention failed and just further worried him. Stepping forward he gripped the other's shoulder and looked down till the other's eyes met his.

"I didn't- I didn't think about this hurting me." The shaky unsure voice caused him to sigh and he tried to console the now shaking figure. "God damn it Yata. You shouldn't be thinking that." He sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "You're just a kid."

Yata didn't reply but instead laid himself on the bed. He turned his back towards the bartender and tried to bury himself into the bedspread. He heard the other get up and opened the closet. "Looks like you're about to drop dead." He dropped a thick blanket on the small body and advised. "Sleep until Saru comes back."

Not waiting for a reply the bartender left the room. Emotionally and physically exhausted Yata closed his heavy eyelids. He didn't know where the hell his future was going but right now it didn't look that great. Everything that Kusangi-san had asked him was now bringing up ugly thoughts, memories and fears. Curling into himself he quickly covered his face so no one could see the tears begin to fall.

He was nineteen, male and a strain had gifted him with life.

The frantic breathing that filled the room sounded very similar to sobs, but Yata denied that.

He didn't know when he fell asleep but what felt like a moment later, he heard a familiar voice calling him. Quickly standing upright he hastily walked out of the room and towards the voice. In his haste he almost slipped down the stairs but thankfully a thick arm caught him. The arm became a hand that gripped his bicep and held him upright.

"Yata-san?" Rikio questioned him, no doubt worried about his appearance.

He didn't reply and instead used Rikio to go down the rest of the flight of stairs. The arm steadied him long enough for him to look at the scene at the bar.

Saru and Anna were glaring at each other. Anna observed him through a red marble, her mouth turning downwards with each passing moment.

"He's leaving." The third in command told the child in a no argument tone.

"Staying." Was the blunt reply. Whatever Anna saw in Saru's thoughts were not to her liking and it seemed that the child was not backing down.

"Just fucking fantastic." He complained to himself. Unfortunately his presence was noticed by the two and he was greeted by two pairs of eyes, each one telling him to agree with them. He unknowingly walked into the argument of the century, and by the looks of Anna and Saru it looked like neither of them was going to back down.

"Fuck."


End file.
